Stephanie's Stupid One Sentence Plot Synopses

(All of the movies below, are stupid)

Into the Wild: Privileged emo kid misreads wilderness manual and dies in a bus after foraging for wild/poisonous berries.

All About Steve: Very strange woman who will never get a boyfriend finds happiness by meeting

even weirder people to be friends with.

Million Dollar Baby: Female boxer forms creepy relationship with her very old coach, gets

punched in the face, and dies.

The Day After Tomorrow: A handful of people and wolves are the only things that can survive

global warming apparently.

Save the Last Dance: An emotionally damaged white girl puts on a headscarf and gets a black

boyfriend, which somehow motivates her to pursue a career in..... ballet?

Baby Stuff

Whoever thought up Huggies Jeans: Why would people want to dress their baby in denim speedos? Besides, diapers go under clothes. I'm glad that you decided to make them a limited edition, because your idea was STUPID.

White Supremacists

Germans who decided to execute Project Valkyrie: Why did you think that idea would work? You should have taken a lesson from the crazy Jihads..... strap a bomb to your back and jump on Hitler. I don't know why you thought your plan would work if Hitler did not die. Someone should have taken one for the team (and the Jews). You're stupid.

Ku Klux Klan members: I just found out you named your version of the Bible "The Kloran". Seeing as you hate minorities, you would think you would name it something not so close to "The Koran". You're stupid.

Summer Stupidity

It's been awhile, so I have lots of stupid things that rant about.

- Guidos: Why do you think that wearing male body glitter is ok? Why do you think you look awesome, when dressing that way makes you look effeminate? You're stupid.

- People who honk their horns in traffic: do you think you're really going to get everyone to move by doing that? Do you think your horn is the equivalent to Moses' rod parting the Red Sea? You're stupid.

- Good Morning America: stop trying to scare people with random things every morning. Today it was how lawnmowers kill people. Lots of things kill people. I would appreciate it if you would find some more uplifting topics to start the day off with. You're stupid.

- David Archeleta: I hate your name. It makes me think of a muffaletta sandwich. You're stupid.

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The American Public

Yes, I am talking to you America.

First, you elected a President that just kept yelling "Hope" and "Change", and never telling you what to hope for that will change. That's stupid.

Next, you get all excited about universal healthcare, because you honestly believe that the government is hiding billions of dollars in a place like Fort Knox, and that it is finally ready to give a generous portion of it TO YOU.

WRONG! The government doesn't have a job. Oh wait, yes it does. It's job is to take money from YOU to pay for things that it wants to do. That's right. We're all broke America, and you are getting excited about the fact that the government is going to take more money from YOU, and give it to a whole lot of people who don't deserve it.

Are you a drug addict? No? Then you lose. You're getting money taken out of YOUR paycheck to pay for a drug addict's health care. And man, are overdoses expensive!

Are you on welfare, because you've made poor life decisions? No? You lose again. You get to pay for all the uneducated people who have nothing better to do then procreate and get wasted.

Do you have a job? Yes? Well not for long! Not only are you going to have to fork over a huge piece of your paycheck to pay for those mentioned above, but you may lose your job because your employer won't be able to stay profitable under the new healthcare system. Just look at Europe: 11% unemployment rates that perpetuate for YEARS. America's current unemployment rate? 10.4%. (and that's in the midst of a recession!). That means .6% of you have a LOT to look forward to!

Think about it America. However, I doubt you will, because YOU'RE STUPID.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal....... why the heck do you think you can throw a hissy fit and try to punch out someone who asked if you were the guy who kissed Heath Ledger! YOU WERE! If you don't want people to talk about you kissing guys......DON'T KISS GUYS!

YOU'RE STUPID!

The Bachelor

1) Producers: Digitally enhancing the sky to include a fake rainbow because Jason Castro is singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" during Jake and Molly's wedding........ That's Stupid.

2) Dancing the dance that is in your heart for a guy who only cares about what's in his pants...... That's Stupid Tenley!

3) Chris Harrison: everybody is well aware of the fact that there is only one rose left at the end of the night. You don't have to bust in and announce it! You're stupid!

4) Molly: I feel sorry for you, because you "won" the worst bachelor EVER. He's not rich, he has baby mama drama, and he dumped you on national tv, and proposed to another person! Why did you marry him??? You're stupid!

5) Jake and Jason: STOP CRYING! You're stupid!